I flipped my journal to an old entry and began to read it aloud to my husband,
"I am eight weeks with child...I saw the heartbeat on ultrasound...I haven't told Tyler yet. This is a second chance. A second chance to apply all that I've learned. Another chance to have all of the things that I've lost. It is a birth and rebirth."
I close the journal's hardcover, and look over to my husband who smiles wearily back at me.
"We had no clue." he admits tenderly.
"None." I agree.
As an earthquake can permanently split the ground beneath ones feet, so can having a child with special needs.
There's life before Olivia, and there's life after.
It's hard for me to go backward mentally.
This new life is sacredly savage and persistently humbling.
Today, Olivia has her first physical therapy session since twenty-nineteen.
We picked up her AFOs last week, and she will be evaluated in them.
In all honestly, these AFOs are a bit invasive and Olivia cannot crawl whilst wearing them,
however, if Olivia has any possibility of standing, this is the route we must take.
Definition: AFO stands for ankle foot orthosis.
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