I’m quite raw today.
I have so many words, thoughts, emotions, memories…
They evaporate as quickly as they materialize.
When I clench my concentration determined to absorb,
the details are too vivid,
the happy memories,
and the devastating ones.
I’ve had a singular involvement to where I was able to dissolve into a movie with my sister-in-law to my left, and my husband at my right.
Every other minute is my being hyperaware or disassociated.
I feel like a foreigner in my own body, my own mind, my own house; new brain synapses fashioning incessantly, and my getting acquainted with them.
It’s a gorgeous awareness coupled with crippling terror.
Yin and yang.
My gratitude, platitudes, and relationships have shifted.
I am acutely conscious of what love ought be…
I’m resolute in being surrounded by it, actively participating in it, and circulating it.
I believe that we are all interconnected, and that no human-being is in proprietorship of another.
Now more than ever, I am committed to making it all matter.
Now more than ever, I am dedicated to doing the work.
Shalamar,
Words escape me...and though we are miles apart...I'm sitting with you...just here...feeling your grief and lifting you and your family up. Your life, your love, your words and your wisdom, your family, the love of your family, has touched me in profound ways. I am here...sitting with you...here to listen or to cry. Much love,
Darla